Home  About Us  Sitemap

MAIN TOPICS:

* Agriculture

* Antiquity

* Metaphysical

* Sociopolitical


Books by A.O. Kime
book cover picture of STD LEX
Hot !
"Metaphysical realities in America's politically-challenged democracy"
... more

book cover picture of Metaphysical Cavemen
"A sagacious accounting of the Stone Age and the beginnings of civilization"
... more

also see our featured authors


Kime articles (list)
guest articles (list)
latest articles (list)

Writing Services
* rentable articles
* free articles


POTPOURRI:
ag facts-inventions
Arizona memories
faces of Arizona
famous quotations
gardening info
informational inks
juror compensation
metaphysical poetry
poetry á la mode


DIRECTORIES:

U.S. colleges and trade schools
--
ARIZONA:
agribusinesses
bookstores
book publishers
casinos
gun dealers
nurseries (plants)
outfitters
rv parks
western wear
--
NEW MEXICO:
agribusinesses
bookstores
book publishers
casinos
gun dealers
nurseries (plants)
outfitters
western wear

Odd combination of directories you think? See 'faces'


Like this website? Donations needed


A.O. Kime Articles:

AGRICULTURE
Betrayal
Biocontrols
Bio-oddity #1
Bio-oddity #2
CECA
DDT ban
Family farms
Farm facts
Farm socialism
Kansas Settlement
Kime ordeal
Mission creep
... more

ANTIQUITY
American cavemen
Ancient history
Ancient pyramids
Caveman facts
Caveman story
Cavemen-cultural
Charles Darwin
Cumbemayo
Evolution
Herodotus
Kennewick Man
Montezuma Castle
Neanderthals
Pre-Clovis cultures
Shoofly Village ruins
Stone Age history
Stone Age timelines
Stone Age tools
... more

METAPHYSICAL
Afterlife
Bodhisattva
Death
Divine Creation
Divine intelligence
Dreams
Dynamics of now
Empowering God
Enlightenment
Ethics
Evil (nature of)
Gift of life
Guardian angels
Hope
Imagination
Immortality
Injured forces
Inkwell philosophy
Instincts
Land (the)
Light (nature of)
Matrix (real)
Melissos
Metaphysical poetry
Metaphysics
Mnemosyne
Muse
Plotinus
Polytheism
Semantics
Sixth sense
Spiritual soul
Spirit world
Subconscious mind
Suicide
Superhumanness
Time (nature of)
Two Septembers
... more

SOCIOPOLITICAL
19th century
Arrogance
Civil wars
Civilization
Coolness
Curse of science
Economic injustices
Establishment
Foreign policies
Freedom
Globalization
Grand Jury
Infringements
Int'l Criminal Court
Majority rule
Megalomania
Minority rights
Outsourcing
Politesse
Power lust
Proposition 203
Rule of law
Sovereign immunity
Tariffs
Tobacco taxation
Tyrants
War contradictions
War criminals
World wars
... more

Enlightenment for the Ages—Masochism

artist rendering of man reading book

The self sabotaging and self destructive

"The Self-Saboteur... Is That You?"
by Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach

There's a joke circling the Internet right now about a priest, a drunk and an engineer who are facing the guillotine. Each one is asked in turn how he wants to die, face up or face down. The priest is first, and he says "face up" so he can be looking at heaven. Down comes the blade, there's a hitch and it stops 6" from his neck. Considering it divine intervention, they free him.

Same thing happens with the drunk, who decides to go with a winner and choose what the priest chose. Six inches from his neck it stops, and he's allowed to go free as well.

Then it's the engineer's turn. He's smart enough to go with a winning strategy as well. As he lies there watching the blade descend, he gets an "ah hah" moment. "I think I know what's wrong with it," he cries out in delight. "The cable's binding right here."

This joke happens to be a classic illustration of the kind of self-sabotaging we do when we have high IQ, but low EQ (emotional intelligence). EQ, you see, isn't just about emotions, it's the interface between emotions and thinking. It's the kind of skills we have that allow us to make good decisions, have good relationships, and succeed. It may well matter more in life than IQ, as this joke points out so graphically. Here is this brilliant engineer, used to problem-solving mechanical things, who proceeds to use his intellect without really thinking, and gets himself killed, you know, shoots himself in the foot.

Self-sabotage is what we do when we aren't able to manage the emotions around a situation, or don't stop and think about the possible consequences of our actions (and actions include words). Like the person who gets reprimanded by the boss and forgets himself and takes a punch.

Who else sabotages themselves?

• The employee who gets lulled around the water cooler at the job and forgets that self-deprecating remarks can and will be used against her.
• The salesman who has the order in his pocket, but can't quit talking, and proceeds to grab defeat from the jaws of victory.
• The man who's so nervous on the job interview he giggles, babbles, and spills his coffee all over the interviewer's desk.
• The impulsive married man who is sexually attracted to someone at work and has an affair with them, and then, to make himself feel better, confesses to his spouse and boss.
• The athlete who lets his temper get the best of him on the court.
• The manager who has the knack of intimidating the employee who needs sensitivity, and placating the employee who needs firmness.
• The student who learns all the material and then clutches when it's exam time.
• The individual who lets setbacks, rejections and losses send them into a downward spiral of negativity, depression and pessimism.
• The actress who gets stage fright and freezes in fear in front of an audience.
• The worker who sets goals but is too scattered, emotional, and disorganized to carry them out.
• The coach who misreads his athletes, expects too much or too little of them, and tries to motivate by intellect or intimidation alone.

Success in all the important things in life requires a high degree of emotional intelligence. The person who knows how to get along, can plan ahead, manage their emotions and those of others, generate options, act with intent, maintain the appropriate degree of sensitivity to their environment, and remain optimistic enough to persevere, will always have the edge. Whether it's leadership, a better marriage, a promotion, or respect you're after, the key can be developing your EQ.

The good news is that it can be learned. Just as you continually increase your expertise and academic learning, you can work with a coach or mentor who can explain the competencies to you, help you gain the necessary self-awareness, and give you exercises and feedback. Many people I've coached in EQ call it "the missing piece." However, it's not something you can just read about. It's not like memorizing the chemical elements, or listening to a beautiful piece of music and appreciating it, or taking notes at a one-day seminar. It requires identifying the skills, understanding what they look like in use, and then practicing them in real-life situations, with constructive feedback, and practice.

Becoming mindful, and have many choices in your mental, physical, mental and behavioral repertoire will give you the edge. If you find you often turn left when you should've turned right, or feel or have been called "clueless," or you seem stuck and are unable to move forward, why not give it a try? It's a lot better to be a self-enhancer than a self-saboteur.

©Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc

Susan is the creator of The EQ Foundation Course, and coaches offers coaching, Internet courses and ebooks around emotional intelligence for your success. She trains and certifies EQ coaches internationally. For FREE ezine mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc and put "ezine" for subject line.

-------------------------------------------------------

Matrix of Mnemosyne... the place of smoke signals from the spirit world

Last modified: 03/11/16